Football
AJ Mass, ESPN Staff Writer 16y

Commish's Court: Me, me, me

I just got back from my good friend Gary's wedding. We've been buddies since college, and I was honored to be standing up there beside him during the ceremony. I didn't even mind wearing the rented tuxedo or getting up at the crack of dawn to take a seemingly endless train of "candid" photos that we had to painstakingly pose for over the course of several hours. All that mattered to me, and my fellow groomsmen, was to share in a special day for our friend and do whatever was necessary to make that day a happy one. That's what friends do for each other.

Sadly, not everyone subscribes to this theory. Some people are so self-absorbed and outright selfish that they do things that normal people would never dream of doing. For instance, there was a woman in Hawaii who was having a difficult time paying some of her bills. She was very embarrassed by this, and nobody would fault her for keeping this information to herself. What we can fault her for was going into her friends' purses and wallets, taking their credit cards, running up huge bills and then returning the cards to their rightful homes before they were noticed as missing.

Forget the friendships she risked losing and the betrayal of trust. So selfish and shortsighted was this woman that she failed even to consider that once she got caught, her children might be taken from her and placed into foster care. Luckily, she was placed before a lenient judge and had to serve only a short jail sentence and provide restitution for her illicit shopping sprees.

Fantasy football leagues are not immune to people like this, either. Some folks simply do not get it. Let's hear what Colin from Alexandria, Va., has to report:

"We have a guy in our league who insists on vetoing every trade because allowing other people to trade and improve their team runs counter to his own team's interests. He recently sent the following e-mail: 'I am simply acting within the parameters of the league. How is the veto not a strategic issue, and how is acting in the best interest of my team being childish? If I were to send a (proposal) to everyone in the league asking if I could add an extra 10 points to my score every week, would you not veto? That's just the way I see trades in general, so I'm going to continue to veto any trade that gets proposed if it makes the teams stack up better against my team. But hey, if you feel differently about trades, then be my guest and vote to approve the trade since my one vote won't automatically kill the trade.' As commissioner, I'd appreciate any advice on how to deal with this. I don't want to go to a league manager review system because I recognize that my own view of players is often biased, but I don't know what else to do in this situation. It's a small league, so only three votes are required to block a trade. One automatic vote against every trade is a big deal."

Talk about not getting it. Yes, you want to win your league. And yes, you should look out for your self-interests first. But come on! To join a league where trading is allowed by the rules, and to decide that you don't want anyone else to make a trade, so you'll veto them all, regardless of their content? Why are you playing? This is not "helping your team win." This is ruining the fun for others, which will cause them to quit, and then yes, you'll win … but you'll likely be playing by yourself after that. There's an accomplishment to be proud of!

To be clear, this owner is within the rules, Colin, and as long as you have a league vote on trades, this is what can occur. You actually lucked out because you have an owner who declared his reasoning, however selfish, for his veto decisions. He need not have provided you with one. He could have just said he thought each trade was "unfair" and left it at that. This is the best example I have ever seen of why league votes on vetoes is a bad idea. If you want to have trading in your league, then you can't have other owners vote on who is doing a good or bad job of it.

As league manager, you need to give yourself the veto power. And then you never use it. Colin, you are absolutely right that your own view of each trade will be biased. This is why you veto a deal only if you, as Commish, are alerted to cheating. You don't veto any deal, no matter how lopsided, if both owners honestly believe they are improving their individual chances. What happens in a league where people are given this kind of freedom? Sometimes you get people who act entirely in their own self-interest and make lopsided deals and cheat and collude. Guess what, though. These people expose themselves quickly. You don't invite them back. You play with a group of like-minded owners who want to win but do so without resorting to "tactics."

I would never want to play in a league with a guy who would compare someone else's backup-running back-for-backup-tight end deal with an automatic increase of 10 points to his own score. The fact that he thinks these two things are even in the same ballpark is frightening! This is a guy who would not only turn you down for an organ transplant if he found out he was your only hope of survival, but he also probably wouldn't loan you a pen to sign something real quick. To him, those tasks are one in the same. He's a self-centered baby. Get him out of your league, and then throw some kind of "victory" celebration. Everyone wins … even him, because he'll get to spend more time with the person he loves the most: himself.

All rise. The Court has adjourned!

A.J. Mass is a fantasy football, baseball and college basketball analyst for ESPN.com. You can e-mail him here.

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