The Maine Event: Live From The Daytona 500

1:13 AM: ...And now the Napa Know How commercial is running. I think that's my cue to sign off. Thank you SO much for following along. Honestly, I couldn't have it made it through without you. This has been an incredible weekend between the epic Daytona madness and the NBA All-Star festivities. Thanks for keeping me company. You guys rule. Goodnight! Scratch that, good morning! I will gladly write notes to your bosses about your inevitable absence from work tomorrow if you need 'em.

1:11 AM: Commercial running in the media center is 'how to make sure your career doesn't ruin your diet'. Where was that commercial 17 hours ago? Today I've eaten exclusively cookies, nachos and diet coke.

1:09 AM: Danica finishes in the coveted 38th position. Impressed by her composure and attitude despite a less-than-stellar weekend on the track.

1:06 AM: Just like everyone predicted. A Matt Kenseth win after a 36-hour delay and a jet dryer explosion.

1:04 AM: I can't believe it's finally over. Just realized I've essentially had my own personal '24 Hours of Daytona'. I'm currently on hour 18.

12:58 AM: Well, it took three days but the first race of the season is finally over. What a way to kickoff the year.

12:56 AM: Dale Jr.fighting him down the stretch. It's not enough... Matt Kenseth is your Daytona 500 winner! Dale Jr. finishes in 2nd, Greg Bifle in 3rd.

12:56 AM: Final lap. Kenseth remains in the lead...

12:55 AM: Anyone else hoping for a 'Cool Runnings' ending where the winning car is carried to the finish line?

12:52 AM: Green-White Checkered. Let's do this.

12:48 AM: Ricky Stenhouse is the assumed culprit. Kyle Busch, Stewart, Blaney, Newman, Gilland and Reutimann all involved.

12:47 AM: Seriously? At least it wasn't a jet dryer explosion. So there's that. Sigh.

12:44 AM: Hamlin has edged out Dale Jr. for third position. Kenseth, Bifle still 1-2.

12:42 AM: Nine to go, 22 drivers still on the lead lap. This is going to have more drama than TNT. Or at least the dunk contest.

12:39 AM: Seven drivers officially involved in that wreck.

12:37 AM: Keselowski (via Twitter): 'Nothing we could do there... Never saw the wreck till we were windshield deep'. Clearly he's okay as he was on Twitter 47 seconds after the wreck.

12:24 AM: Despite the numbers of involved cars, I'm not really sure if this qualifies as the proverbial 'big one' considering that whole jet dryer explosion thing.

12:32 AM: And boom goes the dynamite. Jamie McMurray seems to be the cause. Carl Edwards, Kasey Kahne, Tony Stewart, Brad Keselowki all involved.

12:30 AM: There are more alliance in this race than an episode of The Challenge on MTV. This is like Johnny Bananas' dream scenario.

12:29 AM: Dale Jr. getting aggressive from the 3 spot. Kenseth and Bifle aren't going to make it easy for him.

12:26 AM: In the words of Kermit the Frog, it ain't easy being green. Let's hope it's a little easier this time around.

12:24 AM: Dale Jr. is trending on Twitter. And it's not even to make fun of that ridiculous facial hair.

12:22 AM: Haven't made this joke yet today... Hope Casey Mears took his hands off the wheel on his way to the infield. And by today, I obviously mean Tuesday.

12:19 AM: ...I jinxed that, didn't I? My bad. Casey Mears is now spinning around on the infield. Almirola, Stenhouse and Ambrose also involved.

12:18 AM: 25 laps to go. We might actually make it.

12:13 AM: FOX changed their graphic to 'Tuesday Morning Under The Lights'. Perfect.

12:12 AM: Kenseth, Bifle, Dale Jr. are your current leaders. If Dale Jr. wins this race, there is no absolutely no question that is the craziest race of all time. Couldn't script it any better for NASCAR.

12:11 AM: WE'RE GREEN! WE'RE GREEN! I don't see this lasting long.

12:09 AM: Dave Blaney, Landon Cassill and Tony Raines have all had to pit. Tough break.

12:05 AM: Tony Raines and the Rick Santorum car are currently in 3rd. That settles it, despite Danica's disappointing weekend and Montoyas crazy wreck and Johnson's lack of driving more than two laps, no one has had a worse weekend at Daytona than Mitt Romney.

12:02 AM: This is like a Kenny Rogers song. Most of the drivers are saying it does NOT feel safe out there. I have a hard time believing they will race 40 more laps.

12:00 AM: And we're back to yellow! In other news, it is now Tuesday.

11:57 PM: I hear engines! Or, I think those are engines. It's been so long, I'm not entirely sure what they sound like anymore.

11:55 PM: Apparently Kyle Busch and Carl Edwards have both been penalized for unapproved work during the red flag. I do not believe Carl's cracker request is the offense in question.

11:51 PM: We're now at the two hour mark for red flag. If you all (or y'all if you're so inclinde) were able to see me, I would tap dance for you to kill time. Probably for the best this is just text.

11:47 PM: 100 miles left to race. Friend of the blog @eljefe101 is calling a Kevin Harvick victory. Anyone else want to make a bold prediction?

11:44 PM: And here I said that this race was 'definitely not going to finish on Tuesday' when this race hit 100 laps. Figures.

11:41 PM: How do I know this race is a success tonight? My dad, who has never watched a NASCAR race in his life, is now watching. Well done, Daytona.

11:31 PM: Shout out to FOX for not only still being on the air but for making sense and providing good insight. They're making it looking easy.

11:26 PM: Keselowski has gained over 100K followers on Twitter tonight. This is obviously because I named him the best NASCAR tweeter last week in my Power Rankings. No? That's not right. Amazing what some in-car tweets will do for your career. I always thought that would just result in getting a ticket.

11:24 PM: I've been here since 7:30 this morning. I'm really struggling with vision at this point.

11:23 PM: There is now a car pool coming from pit road to help drivers get back in their cars, strapped in, etc. Just a typical night in Daytona.

11:19 PM: Drivers have been ordered to go back to their cars. Too bad for Keselowski. This was his moment out there.

11:12 PM: Found Juan Pablo Montoya's car. Or what's left it. Attempting to post to Twitter now.

11:01 PM: Anyone want to see any of the damaged cars in the garage? I'll go on a mission and get you the goods.

10:59 PM: To save you the 30 seconds, FOX plugged Dale Jr.'s Twitter alias (@DaleJr). The account exists but he's yet to tweet and from what I've heard, he has no plans to do so.

10:57 PM: Quote of the night from Keselowski: 'That's the thing about racing, when you think you've seen it all. Racing finds a way to show you something else.'

10:52 PM: I have never received as many text messages while I'm at an event in my life. No, I am not responsible for the fire. And, yes mom, I'm making sure not to inhale any smoke.

10:50 PM: The hope is for this race to resume in 30 minutes. I don't know how realistic that is.

10:45 PM: Wow. Tide really can clean the toughest stains. Unless it's the coffee stain on my favorite shirt.

10:40 PM: Just took a walk to try and assess the damage myself. My gut reaction is that this race is over. Not that I have any previous experience with this topic. The again, I don't think anyone does.

10:33 PM: At least no one can blame Danica for that one.

10:31 PM: Over/under on how many times FOX is going to show this replay?

10:27 PM: Carl Edwards is requesting a 'snack cracker'. What else would you think he would be doing with 40 laps to go?

10:20 PM: No one has any clue what is going on. Even the drivers are getting out of their cars trying to figure out. Since they can't talk to each other on the radios.

10:16 PM: This might be the strangest day of my life. I have a feeling I'm not alone.

10:13 PM: If you're not following Brad Keselowski (@keselowski) on Twitter, you need to rethink you're life. Dude is tweeting from his car right now. Going to guess there will be a rule about this next week. So enjoy it while you can.

10:09 PM: Hearing there are 21 safety trucks on the scene. When my oil was leaking in the driveway, I used baking soda to clean it up. Think I should go share my knowledge on the topic?

10:04 PM: We're now under a red flag. This could get a little dicey with the expected rainy weather conditions. If they decide they can't go on tonight, this race is already official. My mortal enemy D ave Blaney would take the checkered flag.

10:02 PM: This track reeks of fire of cheap beer.

9:59 PM: Everyone is thankfully okay. I have no idea how. They're putting out the fire now. It's going to take awhile to clear that one up.

9:56 PM: Holy (insert any four-letter word here). The entire track is on fire. The crowd is screaming. The fire continues to make its way down the track. Should I be concerned for my life right now?

9:54 PM: Juan Pablo Montoya hits the wall. Crowd cheers. Tough crowd.

9:47 PM: And David Stremme's engine just blew up. Thank goodness, I was really hoping for another caution. That makes it a lucky seven.

9:46 PM: Just saw that Sprint LASCAR Mobile Lapp. Don't they know it's illegal to karaoke and drive? Duh.

9:43 PM: One thing is for sure, this race is a hell of a lot more competitive than most of the Monday Night matchups were this year. Could we make this a Monday Night thing?

9:39 PM: Dale Jr. is currently in 2nd. I can't even imagine what would happen if he won this race. I'm almost nervous thinking about it.

9:38 PM: ...Because Matt Kenseth has surged to the lead. This is why I said I shouldn't post every time there's a lead change.

9:36 PM: Joey Logano has taken over the front spot. Enjoy this Redskins fans. This as close as you've gotten to a big win in some times. I kid, I kid.

9:33 PM: To quote the hilarious @nascarasm on Twitter: 'Weather 15 miles out. Too bad they aren't racing at Kentucky Speedway - it wouldn't reach the track until Thursday,' Too good not to post here.

9:30 PM: Dave Blaney doesn't know this but I think he might be my mortal enemy. Dude has almost run me over 12 times this weekend. Sure, all of these encounters were probably my fault. But it's still hard not to take that personally.

9:25 PM: Hearing again that there is disruptive weather in the vicinity. Very good chance there is a delay before the end of this race.

9:22 PM: Elliot Sadler couldn't find his pit box. It's been a long day. I'm not even sure I could spell my own name at this point.

9:21 PM: Bowyer being pushed out by a truck. Much more efficient than calling Triple A.

9:19 PM: The 5-Hour Energy Car ran out of energy. Perfect.

9:18 PM: Clint Bowyer just ran out of gas. Even I can read a gas guage. That brings out our 6th caution. As if this wasn't a demoralizing enough moment for Bowyer, now all the drivers can completely rip him over the radio.

9:12 PM Hamlin and Truex Jr. and Bifle are battling in the front.

9:
07 PM: Severe internet issues. I'm sure someone will blame Danica Patrick for that.

9:03 PM: Collective sigh of relief (Read: Screams of joy) when the race hit the halfway mark. This race will officially end tonight, regardless of weather from here on out.

9:00 PM: If I found out I made that kind of money, I would start crying and immediately drive off the track and celebrate. I guess that's why I'm not a race car driver. That, and the fact that I don't know how to shift. Details, details.

8:59 PM: And Truex Jr. makes a move to get in front! Of course he does. Napa knows how... to earn $200K.

8:57 PM: One lap to halfway, Bifle currently in the lead. But with that kind of cash on the line, I don't think the rest of the pack is going to let him cruise.

8:54 PM: Friend of the blog @odom_ is predicting 28 cars finish this race. Anyone else?

8:52 PM: Would love to see one of the drivers from a smaller team get the halfway bonus, $200K would really go a long way for them.

8:50 PM: Going green! This time I'm not being literal. It's a car race. But we do have a green flag. Let's see how long this lasts.

8:45 PM: Caution 5. Terry Labonte goes for a spin. Literally.

8:42 PM: Everytime I see a car, I convince myself I need whatever is written on it. I've never used a power tool in my life. And yet everytime I see that Stanley car, I convince myself I really need a cordless drill. I don't even know what those do. I'm not sure how to feel about being the target NASCAR viewer.

8:39 PM: Your predictions on how many cars will actually finish this race, please.

8:35 PM: Most impressed that Gordon signaled out the window to those behind him he was having motor issues. I barely remember to put my indicator on.

8:34 PM: Jeff Gordon brings out the coveted fourth caution of the night. There is no prize money for this distinction.

8:31 PM: Just my luck. Truex Jr. has taken the lead. Napa know how, Napa know how. And apparently, they really do.

8:25 PM: Everytime I look at Marn Truex Jr.'s car, I start singing 'Napa know how, Napa know how'. Thus I will be covering my eyes everytime he's in the vicinity. Hope this doesn't hider this blog too much. It's the only thing I have left to preserve my sanity.

8:23 PM: Let's go back to green, shall we?

8:18 PM: Danica only has to make up 62 laps to claim the lead! This could be her night! Nevermind.

8:17 PM: Danica is on her way back to the track. Looks like her crew opted for the duck tape option. It looks very similar to my car in college.

8:16 PM: And we've got yet another caution. That's three for those keeping score at home. Debris on the track.

8:13 PM: I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess Tony Stewart had some interesting comments about Kyle Busch after he blocked his way to pit road. It's good thing these guys have such good control over their tempers.

8:09 PM: Just realized my Danica picture didn't go through on Twitter. Unfortunately all non-Sprint phones get very minimal service at the track. What a coincidence!

8:04 PM: Tony Raines, who is driving the much-talked about Rick Santorum car, is currently in 34th. Nothing says 'vote for me for President' like a 34th place finish. And yet still not as bad of a showing at Daytona this weekend as Mitt Romney (See: 'I'm not a NASCAR fan but I'm friends with a lot of NASCAR owners').

8:01 PM: Fun FYI for those not aware: The leader at the halfway point (100 laps) gets a $200K payday. There is no purse for the leader at the halfway point of the halfway point however. Sorry Jeff.

7:59 PM: Jeff Burton has taken the lead. I probably shouldn't even bother writing when the lead changes. It will probably change before I hit submit.

7:55 PM: Hearing there is another storm on the radar. Good chance of another rain delay. Apparently Mother Nature is not a NASCAR fan.

7:51 PM: Denny Hamlin is your current leader. Menard and Smith right behind. If we learned anything from Saturday's Nationwide race, it's that the leaders less than a quarter in mean absolutely nothing.

7:47 PM: Word is Danica is, ahem, 'getting a new rear end'. That caused a lot of obvious jokes in the media center. Don't judge. It's been a long few days.

7:44 PM: There are approximately 400 people around Danica's car including crew, fans and TV crews. It's a zoo out there. She's not getting out of the car. Just posted a picture on Twitter for your viewing pleasure.

7:37 PM: Running out to check out Danica's car now. Picture momentarily.

7:36 PM: Over/under on cautions tonight? We're 14 laps in and at 2.We're on pace for 14. Hope you don't have any plans for the next six hours.

7:34 PM: ...Just kidding. We're now in our second caution of the night. Ryan Newman looks to be having a tire problem. He's the only car involved. Can't wait to hear Kyle Busch's thoughts on this.

7:32 PM: Anyone want to see Danica's car? I'll run out to the garage and post a picture on Twitter.

7:31 PM: Back to green. Have a feeling that won't be our only caution tonight.

7:30 PM: Kyle Busch: 'Are we kidding ourselves? We just around for 36 hours and we wreck on lap 1'. Amen brother.

7:28 PM: Ragan was just on the radio saying he 'can't wait to see who the bonehead was who did that'. Those are his words not mine. I'm sure I would be using much stronger language.

7:25 PM: Impromptu poll: How would you sum up Danica's weekend?

7:24 PM: Hopefully Danica took her hands off the steering wheel on her way to the infield. Looks like her car has mostly cosmetic damage and she should return.

7:22 PM: Johnson and Ragan's cars both taken to the garage by tow truck. Can't imagine that's how either of them planned on starting their season.

7:17 PM: Wow. That didn't take long. That's one way to start a race. Sadler, Johnson, Danica, Kurt Busch, Ragan and Bayne involved. Every single media member just took off in a sprint to get reaction. Seriously. I got elbowed in the head by a very prominent NASCAR reporter. And we're three laps in.

7:13 PM: And we're off!

7:06 PM: Everyone is excited for this race to finally get underway. But I have never seen a more exhausted group of people in my life. From the media to the track staff to the fans that played a drinking game all day whenever it started raining. I'm surprised that last group is still standing.

7:04 PM: Call it now. Who's taking the checkered flag?

7:02 PM: I hear engines. First time all day. I almost think my ears are deceiving me.

6:58 PM: Per usual, let's make this blog as interactive as possible. Questions, comments, requests and dedications? Send 'em my way on Twitter (@darcymaine_espn) or in the comments section below. If you want to get a first-hand look at something (i.e. a wrecked car in the garage), just let me know. I'll track it down for you and post on Twitter.

6:55 PM: In a weird way, the delay might work out for the best. While the crowd will look sparse on television, the ratings may skyrocket. It's the Daytona 500, Danica Patrick's Cup debut and it's all on primetime. Are you ready for some racing?

6:51 PM: Due to the postponement of the race, combined with the unpredictability of the weather reports, there isn't a huge crowd here tonight. Scalpers, or as they prefer to be called 'ticket reissuers', were selling tickets for $15 this afternoon.

6:49 PM: The sky appears clear and it hasn't rained in about three hours. This is the most exciting sentence I've written in some time. And I've been here for 12 hours.

6:45 PM: Greetings from the Daytona 500! I was too afraid to start this blog earlier because I was sure I would jinx this race for the 400th time. We are now 29 hours past when this race when was actually to start but it appears that the Daytona Hostage Crisis is finally over and we're ready for a green flag at 7:13 PM. Whew.