Matthew Berry, ESPN Senior Writer 7y

Love, Hate and punishment

Fantasy NFL, Fantasy

It has officially become a "thing."

I'm speaking, of course, about the punishment for losing your fantasy league.

It's now a whole thing.

In 2012, I got an email from a man named Quin Kilgore. Quin was a member of a league in Omaha, Nebraska that called itself, for reasons that were soon to be obvious, "The Tattoo League." This league had a very simple but very real rule: Last place in the league gets a tattoo. Not some henna tattoo that washes away in a little while. No, we're talking a permanent, rest-of-your-life tattoo -- chosen by the winner.

He then sent me a link to an article the Omaha World Herald had done about the league and the tattoo the loser had been forced to get that first year: a tattoo of a unicorn and a rainbow with the words "Fantasy loser" above it. They were preparing to give out the second tattoo to the loser of their league and he wanted to know if I wanted to see it when it was done.

I, of course, jumped all over it. And after I reached out to Quin, I explained that I was actually writing a book and if they would be willing to sit on the tattoo (and the one the third year as well), my "Fantasy Life" book would be coming out in summer of 2013, and I'd like to publish all three photos along with their story in the book. They agreed, and as it turned out, their story is the lead of the book.

I mentioned them in pretty much every interview I did for the book. We released the photos (and video) of the second tattoo (three Care Bears, with one in "Tebowing" position, the result of the loser losing to a Tebow-lead team in the final "loser bowl") and then, in year three, a tattoo of Justin Bieber's face.

The thing quickly took off. Sunday NFL Countdown did a feature on the guys. They were written up all over the place, and the three tattoo owners went on "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno."

I'm not saying those guys were the first league to do a punishment, nor am I suggesting I was the first to write about it. But those guys certainly raised the bar, and I do feel like I helped promote the idea of league punishments.

Since the book came out, I have had a ton of folks email or tweet me their punishment pictures, videos and snaps, all using the hashtag #fantasylife. It's been great.

Tons of sites, blogs, radio stations and TV shows now devote time and columns to fantasy loser punishments, and it's terrific. I love that it's become a thing. Even people who who don't have punishment leagues want in on it: When I called out on Twitter for this year's batch, one guy said here was a punishment from his league last week. It was a photo from my book from four years ago, and I know exactly who is in the photo! I was like, "Dude, if you're gonna steal, don't steal from me and then pitch it to me too!" I'm dumb, but I'm not that dumb.

I have now seen or heard about thousands upon thousands of different punishments. Seriously, new ones come in every day. So at this point, before I dive in and show you some of my favorites from the past year, I want to offer up some pointers for those leagues considering a punishment.

Punishments are great, but only if everyone in the league is on the same page. Embarrassing opponents and trash talk are fine as long as everyone in the league are friends and have the same level of tolerance. Some people are good with anything goes, some people (because of job, family or personal preference) are not. So, that's first and foremost. It needs to be decided before the season starts and by a unanimous vote. Otherwise, it's not going to be fun. And by the way, if you agree to do one, you have to follow through, you know?

Then you can pick your punishment. In case you are curious, here are the most popular punishments I see:

1. Holding a sign that says some version of "I suck at fantasy football" in public -- often in an embarrassing outfit or in some sort of undress. Seriously, I have seen way too many mostly naked guys the past few years -- a lot of speedos.

2. Taking the SAT or ACT.

3. Having to be some sort of "beer caddie" or "sticker servant" at the next year's draft -- also in an embarrassing outfit or shirt and/or picking up the tab for the following year's draft.

4. Loser gets an embarrassing (often "adult") trophy they have to display. Toilet seats are popular as well. I've seen many pictures of folks having to wear them as neckwear.

5. Humiliating pictures of the loser posted to social media, put into a calendar and/or photo shopped into famous photos. I've had a few very funny Christmas cards with fantasy losers as the picture.

6. A bumper sticker, license plate frame or window sticker for your car, declaring your fantasy ineptitude.

7. Having to perform somewhere: doing five minutes at an open mic night or spoken word poetry night, singing at karaoke or just writing and reciting a poem to the winner.

8. Having to recreate a famous music video shot-for-shot has gained a lot of popularity recently. I've seen a bunch of those, some of which were really well done.

9. Displaying a picture of the winner (or your loser trophy or both) in your home and/or office for a full year, with penalty of lost draft pick if another league member comes over and sees it is not displayed.

10. Body art. Not only is fantasy football is keeping America's tattoo artists busy in the offseason, piercings are also very popular. For men, I have seen pierced belly buttons, nipples and, well, this is a family column, so let's just say that's not the end of the list.

Personally, as long as everyone is in on the joke and in agreement, I love these league traditions. I think they bring the league together, and it's just another great example of the fun of fantasy football. I appreciate everyone sending me these. I have way too many great ones to use them all. And some of them are videos, so I can't put them in the column.

If your league didn't make the column this year and you'd still like a little fantasy fame, well, I'm excited to announce that they are making a Fantasy Life calendar, which I think is just hilarious. It'll be available in across the country in all the stores where you would normally buy a calendar, so if you'd like to submit your league punishment (or cool trophy or amazing draft setup or whatever your version of "#fantasylife" is, submit a photo to MyFantasyLifeStory.com.

Without further ado, here are some of my favorite punishments I've seen over the past year.

Brent Jeansonne is a member of the 14-team PPR The Real League from New Orleans, and they sent in a bunch of different videos and photos from over the years, but here's my favorite. The loser had to dress as a lion, and then the rest of the league chased him with a paintball gun.

Bad haircuts are a popular theme. First up is Andrew Fialkow, whose 10-team standard The League (named after the show) is in its fifth year and forces the losers to get this cut into their heads:

That's bad, but not as bad as this one from Arjun Mathur, who tells me this poor guy is the commish of their league, Division III - Football's Finest.

Costumes are a common theme, but this one in particular made me laugh. Ben Warren tells me his league forces the bottom two finishers in their league to dress like this, and then "Rabbit" has to chase "Carrot" through six different bars, and at each of them they have to chug a beer or take a shot.

As I mentioned, I've seen a lot of "pictures of the winner or loser" that have to displayed punishments, but this was a new twist I hadn't seen before. Ben Probert of the 14-team The League from Glen Rock, New Jersey, gets a Fathead made of the winner with the trophy that has to be displayed on the wall of the last-place finisher. This is 2015's winner, and as you might guess, Danny Woodhead was an important part of the champ's title run. The Fathead has to hang there for the year, and as Ben tells me on behalf of the loser, "It's lead to many interesting conversations with women."

Sure, a sign is one thing. Or even standing on a street corner. But this is next level. One of the guys in Greg Judkins league in Alabama owns a Billboard sign company so, you know, when it came time for a punishment, well, everyone knows how Brent Houser did. Some folks think this is Photoshopped, but I assure you it was real. I had other readers send me video of it as they drove past it. Pretty epic.

Reggie Eubanks is a brave man. Not only did he finish last in the 12-team CFFL from Southern Illinois, he sent in this picture of the aftermath. Basically, the rest of the league just threw food at him. As Reggie writes "I got chicken liver, brown gravy, rotten meat, ranch dressing and flour dumped on my head while the others threw eggs at me from a distance. IT. WAS. AWFUL."

Sadly, the original Tattoo League from Omaha has disbanded after five years (and five tattoos, including one, poor guy, of me). But other leagues have taken up the mantle, including the Paducah Tattoo League. As league member Tanner writes, the rules are simple: Last place gets a tattoo, chosen by the winner of the league. The loser, however, gets to choose location and the tat cannot be anything too offensive or personal, such as involving an ex-girlfriend. The minimum size is four inches by four inches, but, as Tanner tells me, for some reason, "both losers decided to go larger."

Jeremy is the proud owner of Olaf and Katy Perry's "Left Shark" while their friend Jamie now sports a tattoo that is probably a lot more controversial these days than when he got it last year. Meanwhile, Tanner tells me he's got a tattoo coming to him later this year, so we await what's in store for him. Yeesh!

I mentioned that performing or doing something in public is popular, but this was new to me. Joey Skavroneck sent this to me after last year's version of this column ran. Theirs is an auction league where each team gets $100 to start -- except the two teams that finished at the bottom. They get $50 -- plus whatever they can make in tips while performing as mimes in downtown Chapel Hill, North Carolina. Joey is proud to report they each made the $50 needed with time to spare.

No picture yet of this one, as it's soon to happen, but I liked the originality of it. Parker Biggs writes in from the Jenks Class of 2015 league of Tulsa, Oklahoma. They are all sophomores in college. The loser has to go back to their high school for a basketball game and sit in the student section with his body painted with the number of a random kid on the team that he has no connection to. He must then tell all the 15- and 16-year-olds that ask that he is just there to support the team.

The rest of the league will be on the other side, watching the entire game. I have to say: That's pretty ingenious -- and brutal -- but ingenious.

And finally, the loser of this league had to display this bad boy in their home for a year. Love it!

Let's get to it. Hey, it's the championship week. Either the first week of a two-week playoff in ESPN standard leagues or the winner take-all-match in most custom leagues.. Either way, there's no time to get cute, so there will probably be fewer names this week. Maybe play a matchup here or there, but in general, you're going to dance with who brought you, OK?

Quarterbacks I love in Week 16

Ben Roethlisberger, Steelers: The Ravens have a great defense and Ben is great at home. One of these things goes the other way this weekend, and I say Ben is the one left standing. Roethlisberger is the best QB in fantasy at home, and he gets a Ravens defense that has allowed 90 fantasy points to opposing QBs in their past four road games. Let's look closer at what they've done on the road this season. Yes, they stopped Blake Bortles, Josh McCown and the Jets combo of Ryan Fitzpatrick and Geno Smith. But against Eli Manning, Dak Prescott and Tom Brady -- you know, real quarterbacks -- they gave up at least 24 points to each. Ravens corner Jimmy Smith being banged up doesn't help, either. I'm starting Big Ben.

Derek Carr, Raiders: It's been a tough few weeks for Carr, but I'm back in on him and it's all about the matchup, as the Colts are 23rd against the pass in terms of passing yards per game over the past four games. Not great, right? And then you look closer: They've faced Sam Bradford, Brock Osweiler, Fitzpatrick and Roethlisberger (in Indy). I mean, come on. Prior to the past three weeks, the Colts had allowed multiple touchdowns in eight straight games and this weekend, they'll do it again. Carr is a top-10 option for me.

Others receiving votes: There's always the fear that they get up big and stop throwing or that there are some defensive scores, but even in the cold, gimme some Philip Rivers against the Browns. ... Marcus Mariota has never finished worse than QB11 in the three weeks he's started against the Jags, and I expect that to continue on Saturday, as no team has allowed more points per game during the past month than Jacksonville. ... I would be hard-pressed to use him in a championship game, but Matt Barkley is pretty interesting in daily play. The Redskins have allowed at least 20 points to opposing QBs in four of their past five, are traveling on a short week and over the past four weeks, only five QBs have more passing yards than Barkley.

Quarterbacks I hate in Week 16

Matthew Stafford, Lions: The Cowboys have allowed 14 points or fewer to opposing quarterbacks in four of their past five, so their "let's win time of possession on offense to keep our defense off the field" style is working. Only Kirk Cousins in that wild Thanksgiving game has had success on them recently. Stafford is averaging less than 15 points a game in the five contests since the Lions' Week 10 bye and has had just two games with multiple touchdown passes since Week 6. He's merely a mid-level QB2 in Week 16.

Eli Manning, Giants: I never like going with a road QB on a Thursday night if I can help it, and this one makes me nervous. Yes, the Eagles have been brutal this season and they are last in passing yards per game allowed the past four weeks, so if you wanna hang your hat on something, it's that. But Eli has really struggled on the road this season: less than 200 yards in four straight road games, and that's against the Packers, Rams, Browns and Steelers. Not exactly the Seahawks. The yardage hasn't really been there all year, so you're counting on touchdowns here. And anytime you can throw to Odell Beckham Jr., you've got a chance at that. He'll be fine, but on the road (where he completes less than 60 percent of passes this season), divisional opponent, national game, I don't think Philly rolls over here. And I certainly don't see the Eagles putting up big points on the Giants' defense, making a shootout unlikely. He's merely a QB2 for me this week.

Running backs I love in Week 16

Jordan Howard, Bears: Trying to decide what's more of a crowd pleaser? His two first names, his workload or the Redskins' run defense? Why choose? He's averaging 5.1 yards per carry in his past seven games and has at least 99 yards or a touchdown in all 10 games this season with at least 15 touches. And in a cold-weather game, Howard is sure to get at least 15 touches against a Washington run defense that is giving up more than 23 points a game to opposing running backs when those backs get more than 20 carries. Howard's a locked-in must-start this weekend.

Todd Gurley, Rams: Woo-hoo! I finally get to put Gurley in the "Love" section. After a season of hate (and, sadly, a season of being right about Gurley in the "Hate" section), things are finally looking up. If you've gotten this far, it's in spite of him, not because of him. But kudos on doing so, and now Gurley can finally help contribute to the team. The 49ers' run defense has allowed 533 rushing yards and eight running back rushing touchdowns in just the past three weeks alone. Heck, there are 10 NFL teams that haven't allowed eight rushing TDs to running backs all season! Sure to get a heavy workload here, Gurley is a rock-solid top-15 start.

Robert Kelley, Redskins: "Fat Rob," as he is known, has to be excited for this one, especially after seeing what the Packers' Ty Montgomery did to the Bears last week. Chicago is 31st against the run over the past four games, and on the road in a cold-weather game, I expect Kelley to get a ton of work, as he is averaging 18 touches a game since the Redskins' Week 9 bye. The Bears have allowed at least 100 yards or a touchdown to opposing running backs in six straight games now, and Kelley, who has scored in two straight games, will make it three in a row on Saturday.

Others receiving votes: Trailing only Le'Veon Bell in carries the past two weeks, the Panthers' Jonathan Stewart should follow up Monday night's performance with another strong effort against a Falcons team that is 20th against the run the past four weeks and last in the NFL in red zone defense. ... I know he wasn't great last weekend, but I'm on the Chargers' Kenneth Farrow again because, you know, Cleveland. No team has been worse against the run the past four weeks, making Farrow an RB2 for me this week, even with Ronnie Hillman taking touches away. ... Indianapolis' Frank Gore is averaging an impressive 20 touches a game over his past six, and while he'll probably be limited by fellow Colts back Robert Turbin in this one, he'll probably still be pretty good anyway. Before facing a Melvin Gordon-less Chargers team last week, the Raiders had allowed running backs to run for 456 yards and six scores in the previous four games.

Running backs I hate in Week 16

Adrian Peterson, Vikings: I hope last week taught you something. Now, he's another week removed, he does traditionally play very well against the Packers and they have struggled against the run recently. But I don't care. In his past nine games, including playoffs, Peterson is averaging 2.9 yards per carry. Minnesota is gaining just 1.65 yards per carry before first contact this season, which is the lowest rate in the NFL. The Vikings just can't block, and Peterson will once again share the work with Jerick McKinnon and Matt Asiata. There's always a chance he scores, but I'm not risking it with him.

Matt Forte, Jets: I'm not convinced he even plays, but if he's active, you still want no part of him. He's playing limited snaps with the emergence of Bilal Powell, and this is a tough matchup. The Patriots are 10th against the run the past four weeks, the fourth-best scoring defense over that span and have given up just seven running back scores the entire season. Now, they do give up a lot of receptions to opposing running backs, so I think Powell will be fine (and actually a solid start in PPR), but I can't see Forte getting enough run here to make him worth considering. With the Jets playing a young quarterback on the road in Foxboro, Massachusetts, I don't love their chances of scoring a lot in this one, also lowering the chances Forte falls into the end zone here. No, thank you.

Thomas Rawls, Seahawks: The Cardinals have given up a ton of scores to opposing running backs this season (14 to be exact), so there's definitely a chance he gets the ball in close, especially after last week's 34-yard debacle. But that's pretty much the only thing you can hang your hat on here. Rawls is averaging just 3.5 yards per carry this season, and if you take out that outlier 45-yard rushing touchdown against Carolina in Week 13, he's averaging just 3.07 yards per carry for the season on 92 carries. Rawls is below the league average in yards after contact per rush (an area in which he excelled last season); the Cardinals are in the top eight in the NFL in yards allowed before contact and fewest yards per carry over the past four weeks. Again, I could very easily see Rawls scoring in this game, but after last week's disaster against the Rams, I'm not sure how you could trust him behind that line against the Cardinals, who are unlikely to get into a shootout this week the way they did last week against New Orleans.

Wide receivers I love in Week 16

Julian Edelman, Patriots: Edelman has at least 70 yards in every game since the Patriots' Week 9 bye. Dude has been a target machine since Tom Brady's return, including double-digit targets in five straight. He's facing a Jets team that struggles against the slot, just got lit up by Matt Moore and that Edelman pasted for an 8-for-83 line in Week 12. All that's missing is a score. I say he gets it this weekend and is a top-10 WR.

Brandin Cooks, Saints: Well, you're not taking him out of the lineup after last week. Cooks is averaging 50 percent more yards at home this season. The turf plays to his speed, of course, as does Tampa Bay's defense, which has allowed the fourth-most completions on deep balls this season. Drew Brees is behind only Andrew Luck on deep-ball completions this season. Cooks is another locked-in WR1, so don't worry about the last matchup with Tampa Bay.

DeSean Jackson, Redskins: Jackson is the only guy who really showed up on Monday night, and Washington's offense is predicated on taking some deep shots downfield. I like Jackson's chances here, as he's the sixth-best WR in fantasy the past four weeks. You saw the deep ball that Aaron Rodgers threw to Jordy Nelson last week against the Bears to set up the game-winning field goal for Green Bay, right? Not a fluke. Opponents are completing 47.9 percent of deep passes versus Chicago (that's the eighth best in the NFL) and have seven deep TD passes. Jackson has more than 100 yards in three of his past four games, so Cousins is clearly looking for Jackson, who is balling out in a contract year. He's a solid top-20 play for me this week.

Others receiving votes: The 49ers have allowed a league-high 21 WR touchdowns this season, so if ever there were a Kenny Britt week, this is it. ... The last time Stefon Diggs faced the Packers he went off for 182 yards and a score on nine catches. I am not expecting that, of course, but given Green Bay's continued struggles against the slot, I do think Diggs is usable this week with some nice upside. ... Bryce Petty is starting for the Jets, which means Robby Anderson is back in play against a Patriots team that leads the league in total deep completions allowed. Anderson has double-digit fantasy points in three straight and continues to see a crazy target share (more than 26 percent) from Petty. ... Dallas has allowed 19 passing touchdowns in the red zone this season, so I like Anquan Boldin's chances to come down with one on Monday.

Wide receivers I hate in Week 16

A.J. Green, Bengals: It's not a great matchup with Houston, he's not 100 percent and keep in mind, if he feels any sort of twinge, he's coming out. That could be during the game, that could be in warm-ups. Cincy's season is done, so they are not going to risk the franchise. There's obvious upside, but there's also a ton of risk here and I don't think he's an automatic start, despite his immense talent. Green is a risky WR3 for me, not the usual no-brainer start.

Terrelle Pryor Sr., Browns: Robert Griffin III and health have killed Pryor's fantasy value recently, and with underrated shutdown corner Casey Hayward likely to shadow him, this is a situation to avoid. Pryor has gone scoreless in five straight while seeing his target share drop by more than 5 percent in the past two weeks.

Jarvis Landry, Dolphins: The Bills have allowed 70 or fewer yards to the slot in five of their past six games, so I think Landry will find it tough to recapture last week's heroics. Usually a volume guy, he has been under five catches in three of his past four, and only one big play helped his week last Saturday. The Bills are actually fourth against the pass the past four weeks, and while some of that is because of the success teams have had running the ball, that should be no different this week, as Jay Ajayi gets a heavy workload. Landry is outside my top 20.

Tight ends I love in Week 16

Zach Ertz, Eagles: During the past five weeks, only Julian Edelman has more targets, and no player has more catches the past three weeks. The Giants have struggled against tight ends this season, including giving up an 8-for-97 game to Ertz in Week 9.

Cameron Brate, Buccaneers: Since Week 8, Brate is the third-best tight end in points per game, with only Travis Kelce and Tyler Eifert ahead of him. Brate has a TD in five of his past eight games, and he -- not Mike Evans -- leads the Bucs in red zone catches. The Saints are middle of the pack against the tight end, but given the state of the position, a guy who gets as many scoring looks as Brate (only Jordy Nelson has more red zone touchdowns this season) is a must-start.

Others receiving votes: Kyle Rudolph ranks second among tight ends in targets the past four weeks. He has been targeted on better than 24 percent of the Vikings' pass plays the past month and I expect that trend to continue against a Packers squad giving up the 12th-most points to the position. ... C.J. Fiedorowicz is back and while we don't know about his connection with Tom Savage, we do know the offense looks to the tight end and the Bengals give up the third-most points to opposing tight ends. ... Vernon Davis had an absolutely brutal game against the Panthers last week, including getting so blown off the line he caused the sack/fumble that led to the Panthers' easy score at the start of the second half. He also dropped a touchdown pass. BRU-TAL. That said, I don't expect Jordan Reed to play this week and the Redskins do target the tight end quite a bit in this offense, so against a Bears team that has given up 90 yards or a score to tight ends in four of the past six games, Davis is back in play as a streamer this week. ... Both the Lions and Cowboys are pretty bad against the tight end (both top seven in most points allowed to the position), so Jason Witten and Eric Ebron are worthy of streamer consideration.

Tight ends I hate in Week 16

Jordan Reed, Redskins: Hells to the no. Don't care if he's active. Don't care if he talks his way onto the field. He's not healthy and there's very little we've seen recently to suggest he will play with any kind of success.

Martellus Bennett, Patriots: The Jets are allowing fewer than 60 yards a game to opposing tight ends (including just 3 for 22 to Bennett in Week 12), so it's hard to see Bennett having a big game here. Bennett is averaging just 3.8 targets per game over his past five, so he's just not a big part of what the Patriots are doing offensively these days. Hey, there's always a chance when Tom Brady is your QB, but based on usage, he's unlikely to lead you to fantasy glory.

Dennis Pitta, Ravens: He has been below 40 yards in six of his past seven, and the only exception -- that crazy two-touchdown game against the Dolphins -- looks further and further away. The Steelers are middle of pack against the tight end, but defended him well in Week 9 (two receptions, 14 yards), and on the road in a cold, tough, divisional game, I don't see a huge game here from Pitta.

Defenses I love in Week 16

San Diego Chargers: You had me at Cleveland. Again. The Browns have given up double-digit fantasy points to opposing defenses in every game Robert Griffin III has started, and the Chargers are quietly a top-12 fantasy defense on the season, as Joey Bosa has been as good as advertised and the secondary leads the NFL in interceptions. Do I think RG III could take a sack or two or throw a pick? Yes, yes I do.

Kansas City Chiefs: After 10 points on the road in Denver in Week 12, K.C. is back at Arrowhead. They've scored at least six points in nine of 10 games since their Week 5 bye and you like the matchup with a reeling Broncos team. Denver has given up at least 10 points to opposing defenses in four of its past five games and with a nonexistent running game, this will be a one-dimensional offense K.C. can tee off on.

Others receiving votes: The Patriots have scored at least eight points in five straight and here comes young Bryce Petty, making his third career NFL start at Foxborough. Yeesh. ... The Eagles have given up at least seven points to the opposing defense in eight of their past 11 games. The Giants' D is playing as well as any unit in the NFL this week, so I am firing them up.

Defenses I hate in Week 16

Minnesota Vikings: After their minus-4 points last week, you can't feel great about them heading to Lambeau, where the Packers are as hot as any team in football right now. After their Week 11 loss to the Redskins, Aaron Rodgers said the Packers needed to run the table. Starting in Week 12, defenses have scored minus-1, 3, minus-2 and minus-2 against the Packers. I'd be nervous.

Baltimore Ravens: Same premise here, as I just don't want to face Big Ben at home. When the Steelers are at home this season, opposing defenses average 0.5 points per game. You may not have better options, but certainly lower expectations.

Matthew Berry, The Talented Mr. Roto, has never finished last in a league, thank goodness. He is the creator of RotoPass.com, a paid spokesman for DraftKings.com and one of the owners of the Fantasy Life app.

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