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Anna Kournikova loses again.
| | At one time, it seemed like love which would last forever. |
Used to losing at love when it's a tennis score, the Russian vixen finally dropped a match in the game of heartbreak.
Having jilted hockey heartthrobs Pavel Bure and Sergei Fedorov, the unthinkable happened when Kournikova was dumped by singer Enrique Iglesias. At least, that's the story according to the British tabloids, and who doubts the Brits when it comes to juicy gossip?
But free of the distractions of simultaneously stalking Windsor Castle, our cyber sleuths did the tabloids one better, tracking down Kournikova's diary.
Some of the more interesting entries, especially recently, paint a picture of a girl oblivious to the signs of Enrique's wandering eye. Here at Page 2, our hearts -- and our phone numbers! -- go out to the poor girl.
March 20
Dear Diary,
Enrique was watching softball today. I still can't believe it. When I asked him what he was doing, he said he was just waiting for Around the Horn, but it was only the third inning! I just know he was looking for Jennie Finch. Ever since those creeps at Page 2 put her up against me in that poll and she got like 62 percent of the vote for hottest female athlete, I just feel like Enrique's looked at me differently. I mean, I'm sure it's nothing, right? It's not like anybody reads that Page 2 stuff anyway. |
May 12
Dear Diary,
That Maria Sharapova is such a tramp! I caught one look at the outfit she was going to wear in our semifinal match here at the Cloisters Cup and I had to withdraw with an injury. She knew Enrique was going to be in the stands, and I'm sure that's why she picked such a revealing outfit. They say she's the next me, but what has she done? Sure, she's won a couple of tournaments, but has she dated anyone famous?
It's a shame, because I really think this could have been my tournament. It just felt somehow different from the other 126 tournaments I've played in. Enrique must have felt it too, because he said he had really been looking forward to watching this match, and he never says that about my matches. |
July 29
Dear Diary,
Just talked to Enrique on the phone. He said he was busy looking at people for his new video for that "Addicted" song. I think it's so sweet that he didn't want to put me in the position of having to do it, since the girl in the video is going to have to pretty much take off all her clothes. It sounds like they found some slut from the Fox network to do it.
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September 2
Dear Diary,
Just got finished with my last day of television work for the U.S. Open. I am so going to fire my manager for this. Who am I to be on cable television! Next thing you know, they'll be asking me to do guest spots on Silk Stalkings. They told me I had a natural talent for interviewing players after losses, something about an innate understanding of the questions to ask, but this is too much work. Although I might give it another whirl if Monday Night Football calls.
I feel kind of bad for quitting, though. Enrique really seemed to be having a good time talking to Mandy Moore while I worked and Andy played his matches. I haven't seen Enrique laugh like that in ages; it's amazing what kind of chemistry people have when they share a bond like music. It was so cute, he even asked if I'd mind if he keeps going to the tournament.
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October 12
Dear Diary,
What a blast it was co-hosting the World Music Awards with Rupert Everett and Vivica A. Fox. And in Monaco! It's too bad Enrique came down with a cold and had to stay behind in the States. He must really be under the weather, because he's not answering when I call. Poor baby, he must just be sleeping all the time. |
November 20
Dear Diary,
Today restored a lot of my faith in Riquey. All this negative energy I've been feeling is just silly. I walked by his computer while he was in the shower this morning, and he had all sorts of urls scribbled on paper, and it looked from the writing like they were all for the Paris Hilton! I'm really not sure if I'll be healthy enough to play in the French Open next year, but just knowing that he has enough confidence in me to make hotel reservations this early really gave me a lift. I'm playing an exhibition match in Portland in two days and all this just gives me the motivation to start training.
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November 21
Dear Diary,
My agent just told me that IMG Modeling signed Maria Sharapova to a big contract. What a joke, do they have any idea how much she eats or how much time she puts into training for tennis? She'll never be a modeling success. Now I bet she'll be all over Page 2.
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November 22
Dear Diary,
I lost to Carly Gullickson in my exhibition tonight, but she's really good for someone who is 16! I mean she's not a professional yet, but she could definitely beat a lot of people. Enrique says it's no big deal, girls that age cause him all sorts of problems when he performs, too. He wasn't at the match, but I understood. He's been working late a lot recently. I bet this next album is going to be phenomenal with all the time he's putting in!
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November 26
Dear Diary,
What a wonderful night. We were supposed to attend a record-company party, but Enrique insisted we stay home and have a night on the couch. He must have sensed I wasn't up to dealing with all those people. He was so caring, he even pretended to be adamant about watching the O.C. on Fox and pretended to pout when I tried to ask him a question just as Marissa was breaking some big news to Ryan. Wow, that Mischa Barton is a really cute girl. I hope the guys at Page 2 don't start putting her up against me.
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December 2
Dear Diary,
Now I'm really worried. Enrique has seemed really distant these last few days and tonight was just awful. He didn't even pay attention when I was showing him the new line of sporty lingerie Victoria's Secret wants me to endorse, but I thought maybe he was just tired from a long day. But then Howard Dean was on Hardball and Enrique didn't even say anything when Dean dodged Chris Mathews' question on whether he would support legislation banning right-to-work laws. Enrique never misses a chance to debate the place of organized labor in the modern American workforce! It just seems like the spark is gone.
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December 3
Dear Diary,
Mischa, Mischa, Mischa! I knew it. I can't believe he's leaving me for that little tramp from the O.C. He sat me down tonight and said, "Anna, it's not me, it's you. You just don't do it for me anymore. This relationship just can't work when I'm adored by 16-year-old girls and you keep getting beaten by 16-year-old girls. It's embarrassing."
That's it. I'm quitting all the modeling, acting and endorsing and rededicating my life to tennis. I'll show these people that I'm more than a pretty face with great legs, amazing abs and flowing blonde hair. I'm not just a punchline!
But maybe I should start tomorrow. My business manager has a luxury suite for an Atlanta Thrashers game, and someone told me Ilya Kovalchuk is a pretty good player.
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