Dear Anna -- Outtakes
From the mailbag

It's Christmas Eve. I should probably be out at some party. Instead I'm alone, watching It's A Wonderful Life, and sitting here writing this. George Bailey is just about to jump off the bridge. If I ever considered jumping off a bridge (not that I would), I'd want my guardian angel to be Anna (instead of that old Clarence guy - he's not quite as inspiring.) Nothing in this world or of the heavens could convince me more that life is worth living than seeing the beautiful Anna standing before me …
Scott Kruitbosch
Stratford, Conn


Dear Fellow Page 2ers:
My four-year-old daughter is named Anna, she is tall, blond, and somewhat temperamental (so I'm well prepared). With three children, I am skilled at cutting food into small bites, thereby eliminating any risk that Anna might break a nail at dinner. My wife will never let me go, so a vote for me is like a vote for "none of the above." ... But, if, for some impossible to calculate reason, that last fact turns out to be false ... I promise to share every intimate detail with my fellow readers.
Ron Durbin
San Diego


I posed this question to my beautiful wife.

"Dear, why should Anna Kournikova, the only woman, next to you, who makes my knees buckle, the only fantasy I've ever truly wished for outside of the wonderful 14 years we've spent together. Why should she go out on a date with me?"

My wife looked up at me from the magazine she was reading and said in a very pronounced tone ... "Because I said you can." She then went right back to the magazine. Wow, I already am the luckiest!
Gary Spradling
Redmond, Wash.


Anna Kournikova,
Your search for a man is ova.
Stephen Goldstein
Stoughton, Mass.


For all the times the Sports Guy never wrote me back. For all the "here's looking at yous" that you guys never considered. And for all the lame-duck answers I've given for the 'what were they thinking's." This would be sweet justification.
LA
Brooklyn


... I would imagine the date starting out at a very nice restaurant, something in the neighborhood of, say, Red Lobster ... after this, a long romantic drive in my parents' Taurus to seal the deal ...
Roger Converse
Hinckley, Il.


I can show Anna a lifestyle she's never seen ... Ramen noodles and Natural Light beer.
Hunter Chenevert
Austin, Texas


I don't know. I'm not Russian. I can't skate. I can't wear leather pants. I can't make moles look sexy … But, I would have to be stupid not to send something in to this contest.
Kevin Kozel
Baltimore


In college, I celebrated the glory of Anna on Halloween by dressing like her and proudly wearing a long blonde wig … My mother often tells the story at family occasions about my first word, "Anna." With speech lessons and hard practice, I also learned to say, "Kournikova." Thus began my love affair ...
Michael Kagan
Washington, D.C.


... my mullet is fully hatched and my f-250 was just detailed.
Dave Gruble
Norristown, Pa.


We go together like top shelf vodka and cheap tonic.
Sam Wade
St. Louis


Anna Kournikova should go on a date with me because I bet I'm the only person responding with two different colored eyes and eyebrows! (All biological,which makes myself very unique) ...
Ryan Wallace
Waterford, Mich.


... I'm a freshman in community college and I still live with my parents. Please give me a shot, I need to get out of the house for a night. If not, at least send me The Sports Guy's autograph.
Kevin Lloyd
W Everett, Wash.


I like Russian dressing and vodka … and I'm funny when I'm on both of them.
Jorge Barreto
Egg Harbor, N.J.






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