Saturday, I traveled from zero to 165 mph in two seconds when I catapulted off the flight deck of an aircraft carrier. That's an insane experience. But the real madness is the time warp that Michel Platini is stuck in when it comes to goal-line technology.
On Monday, an interview with Michel Platini was posted on the Scottish Football Association's official website in which the UEFA president said, "Goal-line technology would turn the game into PlayStation football."
His stance is simply incomprehensible to me.
I'm guessing there are few more conservative organizations in the world than the United States Navy (does reveille really have to be called at 0600 hours?), but after my experience aboard the USS Nimitz last week -- I was producing a segment for the show "Modern Marvels" -- I'm certain that Platini's outlook on human error and embracing technology would do a quick 180 if he spent a few days with the extraordinary men and women of the U.S. Navy's flagship supercarrier.
Like all the many soccer referees I've met, the seamen and women of the USS Nimitz are highly trained, passionate about their jobs and supremely dedicated to getting the job done right. But aboard the USS Nimitz, every conceivable technological aid was embraced to make sure that happened. The flight deck of an aircraft carrier is one of the most dangerous places in the world. The teamwork among the crew is extraordinary, but no one questions the use of technology to make sure that calculations done by hand in World War II are now done in seconds with 100 percent accuracy.
Centuries-long tradition dictates that I dined in the "Goat Locker" during my short stay on the Nimitz, but the U.S. Navy is not interested in goat horns. Yet it seems that Platini still is.
I'm not immune to the idiocy of Sepp Blatter, but I'm used to it. Platini's another matter. As a player he exuded all the hallmarks of the elite playmaker: charisma, creativity and clinical precision. Simply put, he was a player you would go out of your way to watch. And as UEFA boss, he's been a strong guardian of the game, trying to stop the financial madness and being an advocate for everyone outside the elite nations and the G14 (yes, the group is now officially disbanded but that doesn't mean the members of soccer's most powerful alliance don't stay in touch.)
And yet, when it comes to goal-line technology, he continues to talk drivel about extra referees instead of real solutions. Has he never seen a lipstick camera? All you need is four of those tiny cameras -- one embedded in each goal post -- and the goal-line technology problem is solved. If it's OK to put a camera in the back of the goal (such as the camera that clearly showed that Frank Lampard's shot did go over the German goal line in that infamous 2010 World Cup Round of 16 game), why not put them in the goalposts, laser focused on the actual goal line? If a tiny GoPro camera can capture a shuttle catapulting a Hornet fighter jet off an aircraft carrier at mind-boggling speeds, a soccer ball crossing a goal line is not an issue.
Platini's "PlayStation" comments came in response to the announcement last week by the International Football Association Board (IFAB), the FIFA committee that oversees the rules of the game, that it had finally checked its calendar and made the astounding discovery that we are all now living in the 21st century. Boffins, ball boys and all other manner beautiful minds can now submit their ideas for successfully determining the validity of a goal in a soccer match. If you're interested, you have until the end of November to put your brainwaves in the post. They will all be evaluated in March at the next FIFA boondoggle.
Just don't send them to Platini.
You don't have to be the late great Paul the Octopus to correctly predict that goal-line technology will come to the game. But it would come sooner rather than later if men of the stature of Platini got their heads out of the sand and helped this take off quickly.