Gertrude Stein once wrote: "a rose is a rose is a rose." But not every Roberto Martinez is the same. The insurance agent variety received the final rose from "The Bachelorette" earlier this month. On Saturday, the Wigan Athletic manager version saw his team pruned by EPL newcomers Blackpool. And with Chelsea up next for the Latics on Saturday, "The Bachelorette" winner's namesake faces the reality of a very quick managerial "kiss off" this season.
Soccer is the ultimate reality show. In July, Martinez the manager headed to preseason training coming off a hugely successful stint as a World Cup pundit for ESPN and a rising profile in England. He'd led Swansea City to promotion in his first stint in management and kept Wigan in the EPL last season. This season Europa League qualification and a good Cup run or two would put Martinez in the tabloid frame for all manner of big jobs come next summer.
Earlier this summer, in the world of reality TV shows, the other Martinez was just an unknown dude in a lineup of unknown dudes. Now the Martinez from Charleston is sitting with his new fiancée on Jimmy Kimmel's couch, while the Martinez from Balaguer is sitting on the hot seat.
Last summer Martinez (the football manager) was a popular choice as successor to Steve Bruce as Wigan boss. A former Latics player, the Spaniard seemed set for a happy return to his old Lancashire stomping grounds. When Wigan beat Chelsea 3-1 at home early last season, it seemed that everything would be coming up roses for Martinez and his new team. But that win over the eventual EPL champion proved a rare highlight in a difficult season blighted by a terrible defense.
Only Burnley conceded more goals in the Premiership than Wigan last season, and the Latics goal differential of minus-42 was worst in the league. Against that backdrop a four-goal humiliation on opening day to Lancashire rivals Blackpool is not a good omen. Newly promoted teams are supposed to get an EPL piñata initiation (just ask West Brom and Newcastle) not deliver the ritual hazing.
Even worse, Blackpool should have scored five or six goals. Wigan goalkeeper Chris Kirkland was infected with the Robert Green blooper virus that reached epidemic proportion across the EPL on opening weekend (with the notable exception of Joe Hart.) And as for the Wigan defense, well there wasn't one.
While the headline writers understandably focused on the Seasiders' Cinderella story, the sudden turmoil at Wigan is the real story. Add the Charles N'Zogbia training ruckus to the Tangerine nightmare and suddenly Martinez is in danger of becoming the next Raymond Domenech instead of the next Jose Mourinho.
Of course, it's early days. The summer signing of striker Mauro Boselli could be one of the steals of the season, and another newcomer Antolin Alcaraz was outstanding for Paraguay at the World Cup. In South Africa, Martinez loved players who played with what he called arrogance. His players were timid last Saturday, and this week they face a team brimming with his favorite word (and one that put eight goals on his team in last season's EPL finale.)
As Portsmouth discovered last season, slow starts are hard to overcome. For Wigan, a trip to White Hart Lane follows the visit of Chelsea. A three-game losing streak combined with dressing room problems is no way to start a season. Last September, Martinez upended Chelsea at home and he desperately needs to do that again this Saturday. Because to paraphrase Heidi Klum from another popular reality TV show: "As you know in soccer, one day you're in and the next day you're out."