"Morning Joe" starlet Roger Bennett recently asked me the question I dread most at this time of year: "So, what about your Baggies this season?" I assured the soccer savant that my hometown heroes would gain more points than Blackpool and would not break the bank on assorted overpaid players with unpronounceable names to avoid relegation. Not a hopeful assessment. Then again, I'm a lifelong fan. Hey, you can't help where you're born.
As recent history has demonstrated, the West Brom Albion board has no fear of being EPL deep-sixed. During the past decade, I've wanted them to meet the demands of the likes of Jason Koumas and Zoltan Gera, and invest in any Dutchman with a cool name or Croatian with a hint of midfield menace in order to stay afloat in the top flight. Not anymore.
It's not wonderful news that Albion boss, Roberto Di Matteo, hasn't been able to land a quality striker this summer. But over the years, a whole variety of players purchased from teams I couldn't find on a map have found their way to the Hawthorns. Alas, none of them had the spontaneous creativity and memorable punch of a Craig Ferguson monologue. Some have contributed to relegation and some to promotion. None have destroyed the Albion's bank balance. And, at the moment, that's the most important thing.
Sure my beloved Baggies might do a Burnley (or, heaven help us, a Derby County), but they won't do a Portsmouth -- the worse fan experience of all. It's not for me to debate the merits of being a Manchester United or Chelsea fan. All I know is the irrationality of what's in the blood. I wouldn't have it any other way.
Which means I'm desperately fighting off pessimism as Saturday approaches. While it's fun to think that the Championship kicked off last weekend and I didn't need to pay it much heed, I'm now confronted with the harsh reality of facing Chelsea in the opening game of the new EPL season. Gulp!
Two years ago, a 1-0 loss at Arsenal was the Albion's welcome wagon back to the Premiership. I watched that game on a Slingbox in Beijing. This week, I walked into a Houston barbecue pit factory (don't ask) and saw a box in one of the welding bays with the name "ALBION" (a company of that name is a distributor of castors and wheels) emblazoned on it. Needless to say, it caught my eye, and proved that even in the heart of Texas you can't escape your EPL worries.
Sure, as a new season beckons, my team has no striker to speak of, has been up and down on the promotion-relegation elevator more times than Howard Webb dishes out yellow cards, and has the worst designed shirt sponsor logo in history. But we're not on the tax man's speed-dial list, and there is sudden turmoil at Villa Park.
Maybe that giant red stencil on the side of a cardboard container in the most unexpected of places is an omen of good things to come.
I'll take anything I can get. Come on you Stripes!