Posted by Chris Jones
SOMEWHERE OUTSIDE OF BLOEMFONTEIN, South Africa -- Spending six hours in the car, driving through the South African equivalent of West Texas gives a man time to contemplate the universe and his place in it. These are the things I learned before the delirium set in:
North American ants have no idea. They build tiny hills. African ants build giant skyscrapers, complete with pedestrian bridges, widow's walks and delicate little plumbing systems with rigid plastic pipes and gate valves. Africa is the first world of the ant kingdom. Africa is the place that American ants see when they dream. If they could visit this place -- African ants have dirigibles to get around in -- American ants would never be the same. A whole new world of possibility would open up before them.
The jerky is better here. Like us, the South Africans have mastered the art of the roadside gas station-slash-junk food emporium. Unlike us, they have vast selections of delicious, hand-spiced jerky to choose from. They call it biltong. Beef, springbok, ostrich ... you name it, they cure it.
You never know. There was story circulating yesterday about a small plane having made an emergency landing on the highway into town. Cars swerved out of the way and children were miraculously saved at the last second. It sounded apocryphal. But sure enough, about 20 miles outside of Bloemfontein, there was a plane beside the road. It was in the middle of nowhere, but there was a guard standing beside it, just in case someone decided to stop by and strip it for parts. No word yet on how they plan on getting it into the shop.
The Mexicans are taking it the hardest. There are carloads of fans from the world over here, their rides decorated with flags and paint to reveal their allegiances. Today, I saw English fans, German fans, Dutch fans, Ghanaian fans, Italian fans ... and Mexican fans. By far, the Mexican fans are the glummest. They seemed incredibly sad this morning. The English fans looked as though they expected to lose. The Mexicans looked as though they thought this would finally be their World Cup. Better luck next time, amigos.
How to steal a trailer. So, not far outside Johannesburg, there are stretches of little box-shaped houses. Apparently, many of those houses really are empty boxes. Someone will build one, just a shell with an open end, steal a sweet double-wide trailer, and pull it into the box. Then they'll hastily build the last wall. From the highway, you might catch a telltale flash of aluminum through the front window, but otherwise, it's a pretty slick move. They probably learned it from the ants.