Player X is an MLB star. This is his first column.

Spring training is too long. I'm already bored.

It's a snooze for any veteran. The most impressive guys in March are the ones who are fighting for a spot. I feel like a jerk sometimes when I realize how much this experience means to them. It used to mean that much to me, too. Now I work a few hours in the morning, then spend the afternoon watching movies and laying in the sun.

Sadly, I no longer feel any connection to spring's box scores. And I'm the type of guy who lives and dies with numbers. I compare myself obsessively to competitors once the games count; I look at other teams and what they're doing right and always know exactly how my teammates are performing. But in spring training? I pay attention to my conditioning, the fatties who show up on my team and all the off-field drama surrounding teams besides mine.

This off-season has been as bad as a reality-TV train wreck.