NASCAR Driver X: What offseason?

This story appears in the Feb. 22 issue of ESPN The Magazine.
I am Driver X. For the past few months I've read what an anonymous NFL player has said in this column about life as a pro and thought, Dude, someone in NASCAR needs to do this. So, when The Mag invited me to be the voice of my sport, I jumped at the chance. [Ed.'s note: An NBA player and a major leaguer did too; both have columns on the way.] So here I am, ready to take you inside the garage. I'll start by answering the question that drivers get most this time of year: "How was your off-season?" Well, I didn't have one. NASCAR has the longest season in sports. Other athletes I know just about faint when they see how long we're on the job. Officially, we race from Valentine's Day to Thanksgiving. But the reality is we start in early January for testing and meetings. If you're one of the 12 guys to make the Chase, you're driving hard into December. Then it's three weeks off for the holidays, and just like that, you're back, seven days a week for 11 more months.I'm not complaining. I love what I do. And there are millions out there who'd kill for my job. But I spend less time driving a race car than I do being a "race car driver," with all the obligations that come with it. Cup drivers don't sit on their asses drinking wine and endorsing checks when they're out of their cars. Well, some do, but most of us don't.As soon as the sun comes up on the first Monday of the year, every driver in the garage is back at the shop for team meetings and a NASCAR-mandated drug test. Now, I don't mind peeing in a cup, and I'm a fan of the new drug-testing policy. So is every other driver I know. We don't need that junk on the track when we're going 190 mph. But my problem with giving a urine sample is the amount of pee the lab wants and how they want it. To make sure I don't cheat, a lab technician watches me do my business, waiting until I fill a few cups. That's pressure. Anyway, back to my schedule. My PR rep and my manager keep my calendar. The PR rep works for the team and gets me where I need to be on race weekends. My manager works for me and keeps me in line off the track. Together, they sort through requests from the media, sponsors and my team. They don't always see eye to eye, but they manage to color code every day on my calendar so it looks like a rainbow. It's not uncommon for them to recruit my significant other to make sure I show up when they need me. And while I always try to keep one day a week for myself, it never lasts. If an opportunity is too coolto turn down -- a big talk show or a movie cameo -- I add it. Same goes if it pays well. Or if a sponsor requires me to do it. (And no, none of them know I am Driver X; only a couple of people at The Mag do.)You always take care of sponsors, even if they're a pain, because their support is harder to come by now. There's a line from The Right Stuff that goes, "No bucks, no Buck Rogers." That applies to racing, too. Every car needs a stack of sponsors. The bigger their sticker, the more they paid, and the more you have to do for them. That includes media training in New York to learn how to handle interviews. (Be concise. Don't drop F-bombs.) I've sat with an acting coach to prep for TV commercials. Drivers grow up wanting to be Richard Petty, but none of us dreamed of being George Clooney.The sponsor stuff can be exhausting. On race day, especially for events like Daytona, a driver is awoken early by his handlers (racers prefer to sleep in, since we chew the fat all night) and hauled all over the track to sponsor events. A few years ago, Jimmie Johnson took Mike Hampton around with him the morning of the 500, and the pitcher flipped. "Derek Jeter would never do this just before the World Series," Hampton said. A driver I know had a haircut sponsor and had to get his hair styled before every race. In front of the fans. But there is one person who can put a stop to all this. If my crew chief calls, Mr. Reporter Guy and Mr. Marketing Suit get bumped. Without performance on the track, there is nothing else. Trust me, the calendar gets pretty naked when you stop taking care of your real business. And for all the hassles that come with NASCAR success -- a nonstop schedule, haircuts in public, peeing in a cup while some dude watches -- every driver worth his salt will tell you this job beats the alternative. So, if you walk through the garage, and no one asks for anything, it means you're not winning.And that is a driver's worst nightmare.

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