9:27 p.m., Pier 40, West Side Highway, New York City
(Luke blows up his first TIE fighter)
Luke Skywalker: Got 'im! I got 'im!
Han Solo: Great, kid. Don't get cocky.
It's official. America's love affair with footy is set to continue. When Clint Dempsey's softly-hit skimmer strolled over the hapless Robert Green, the United States, a nation traditionally more comfortable with hailing winners, pumped their fists, high-fived and ordered an extra Bud Light to toast an opening-game draw.
Dempsey's equalizer was the kind more typically witnessed at the Under-8 recreational level than at the FIFA World Cup. Jabulani-assisted as it may have been, a goal is a goal, and that is all the U.S. needed. Tim Howard's Paul Bunyan-esque heroics made the score stand up (Emile Heskey, you big lump, you are to the one-on-one breakaway what Shaq is to the free throw line) and by the end, it was the U.S. rushing to take throw-ins and keep the ball in play to search for a winning goal.
The U.S. performance was tone-perfect as it rebounded from the worst possible start by defending with sufficient vigor, passion and determination to leave Wayne Rooney charging around like a rabid pug. Bob Bradley will be a happy man -- or as close to happy as Bob Bradley can ever be. He knows this was exactly the kind of "Band of Brothers" style the U.S. will need if it is to mount a "2002 South Korea/Turkey Footballing New World Order" run deep into the tournament.
The task now will be to refocus the team for its next match against Slovenia on Friday. The England tie was one game and one game only, and in the World Cup one must resist the urge to draw too many conclusions from a single performance. South Korea may have looked like world-beaters against the shoddy Greeks, but with the wild-card intangibles of altitude, travel, the Jabulani and yes, the springy turf, they may be tonked "tomorrow." After all, this is the World Cup of Parity.
Unless you are England, that is. Poor Robert Green. He will awake to be crucified by the English tabloids. And it is not your fault, Robert. It may just be that you are an England keeper, and as such, you join a proud tradition of crap goalkeepers including Paul Robinson, Scott Carson, David Seaman and Peter Bonetti.
The frightening truth is, goalkeeper may not be England's biggest challenge. Steven Gerrard played as if he was hell-bent on catching Real Madrid manager Jose Mourinho's eye. For the first four minutes. After that, the English midfield lacked a ball-winner, and Stevie G. and Frank Lampard ambled round as if their only aim was to prove the French performance Friday was not so lackluster after all. Gareth Barry's return may fix that problem, but England's central defenders, Jamie Carragher and John Terry, were so vulnerable to pace in the second half I had to rub my eyes to make sure two of the original members of the 1950 squad had not slipped onto the field for some kind of an old-timers game.
Now onto Sunday's titanic tussles:
Algeria versus Slovenia, 7:30 a.m. ET, Polokwane
The drinks will be flowing in Sidi Bel Abbes and Ljubljana tonight. Both teams will have TiVo-ed the England-USA game, spotted acres of space behind the two defenses for their wide men to exploit, and realized they have little to be afraid of. Group C may yet have a twist in the tail, and this game will determine which of the two unfancied teams steps forward to assume the role of giant-killer.
Slovenia is solid but starless with a coveted goalkeeper in Samir Handanovic and an organized defense, but when a journalist asked striker Zlatko Dedic to name Slovenian's danger man a "look of bafflement" was reported to have crossed the player's face. Algeria is young and inconsistent and may not be helped by a controversy surrounding the axing of captain Yazid Mansouri from the side. However, 17 of 23 members of the squad were actually born in France and after Friday's dismal Les Bleus performance, an Algerian win could allow them to claim they are the best side representing France.
* The three readers who have bought into Davies' madcap springy turf conspiracy theories take note: This game will debut a surface where 20 million threads of synthetic grass fibers have been woven in and beneath the natural grass, a concept possibly understood only by members of the Hair Club.
Serbia versus Ghana, 10 a.m. ET, Pretoria
The White Eagles confront the Black Stars with a Serb prowling both technical areas. Milovan Rajevac manages Ghana. His friend Radomir Antic coaches Serbia. Home continent expectations may be unreasonably high for the Ghanaians after they won the U-20 World Cup last year. Four representatives of that squad may appear, but the free-wheeling side will be battered by the loss of Michael Essien's physicality and the fact that their other key midfielders, Sulley Muntari and captain Stephen Appiah, have both been dogged by injuries.
Serbia was the surprise package of European qualifying. Its rugged defenders Nemanja Vidic (who has had "the virus") and Neven Subotic (get ready for repeated references to his representing the U.S. at U-17 and U-20 levels) provide the team with confidence to foray forward in search of goals. Many of the players know they are a handful of respectable results away from a big-money transaction. This extra motivation will always give them a puncher's chance in the tournament. Watch out for 6-foot-8 striker Nikola Zigic, the tallest man at the World Cup. Born to adore the high bounce of the Jabulani.
Germany versus Australia, 2:30 p.m. ET, Durban
Germany is the Walmart of the World Cup. Less a team than a numbingly effective Teutonic World Cup machine. With captain Michael Ballack and starters Simon Rolfes, Rene Adler and Heiko Westermann lost to injury, the squad may appear thin, especially defensively, but as a record of seven finals appearances and three victories suggests, the methodical Germans consistently find a way to grind out results. Bastian Schweinsteiger will seek to pick up the slack with a hard-running midfield performance, but watch out for the creativity of Mesut Ozil, who may use this World Cup to become the new face of German footy. The son of Turkish immigrants, he is, in the words of the Guardian, "the first full-blown German international to recite Koran verses before kick-off."
Australia's Dutch coach Pim Verbeek has made defensive efficiency a hallmark. His side has churned out victories while alienating a fan base that prefers their team to play the role of plucky gunslingers. They face stiff opposition but harbor extra motivation: redemption for the manner of their exit at the last World Cup when opponents Italy were awarded a highly controversial penalty in the dying seconds of the game.
Both teams have utilized unorthodox measures to prepare for the game. The Germans have oddly used news conferences to articulate their collective obsession with the "Terminator" franchise. The team has apparently bonded by watching the videos, which depict a war between humans and computer-controlled machines. The Australian team randomly imported John Travolta to give the Socceroos a pep talk. The very man who, in this eerie video, proves he could easily be mistaken for a computer-controlled machine.