So Wayne Rooney has been hit with a two-match ban for swearing into the camera during last week's game against West Ham. Is it deserved? Seems a bit harsh, but who among us is going to get up on the podium to defend the use of the F-word right into the camera? Not unless George Carlin comes back from the dead to launch into a scathing bit about the FA's hypocrisy.
But let's look at the FA for a moment, shall we. If I were sitting in that organization's ivory tower -- which, as far as I can tell, must be low on oxygen to fuel the brain -- I might be a wee bit more concerned with the fact that its referees are a running punchline than worried about some factory-floor language. If this season is going to be remembered for anything, it'll be two things: the topsy-turvy nature of the results, and the pathetically poor match officiating.
I don't care which team you support, you must have a litany of grievances: handballs given when they shouldn't have been, or vice versa; phantom penalties; blatant fouls that somehow go unnoticed or, if they're noticed, go unpunished (Rooney's elbow, anyone?); players being unjustly sent off, while others are allowed to stay on and hack away. One of my buddies keeps a running tally of mistakes, and on one given Saturday he counted eight howlers. Sad when fans are keeping a record like this instead of poring over player stats.
The Premier League has been turned into a kangaroo court of decisions. Any wonder casual fans are mocking the sport, and with some justification.
It's one thing when the game suffers from the occasional lapse in judgment. Then you've got a refreshing debate to rile up the rank and file. But it's another when referees become the main talking point on a regular basis. With the frequency of blunders we've seen, week in, week out, you get the sense that soccer doesn't just need goal-line technology, it also needs instant replay. I'd hate to see that, because disrupting the flow of the beautiful game would be criminal. On the other hand, what can be done when referees -- and their assistants -- are unable to do their jobs properly? Is the game too fast for them? Do they need Lasik treatment?
One thing we know for sure: Don't you dare criticize match officials in public, at least not if you're a manager. Then the FA will administer its unique brand of "justice." Alex Ferguson is serving a well-publicized five-game touchline ban (and 30,000 pound fine) and West Ham manager Avram Grant was also recently slapped with a sentence. His was a two-game touchline ban and 6,000 pound fine.
Now, you could rip into someone like Ferguson, who -- like him or not -- is the king of hypocrisy. But can you blame managers these days for griping about match officials? Are they supposed to turn a blind eye just like the FA does?
And the bad calls aren't just in the Prem, of course. Just look at Wednesday's action. Mr. Magoo would have seen that foul on Ramires.
The FA will be quick to make a point that managers like SAF and players like Rooney have made a mockery of its much-ballyhooed "Respect" campaign. But what the FA fails to realize is that respect isn't something that's freely given. It's something that's earned.