At first, I thought Jose Mourinho's two-match ban and 600-euro fine for poking Barcelona assistant Tito Vilanova in the eye was a bit of a joke. Then I looked at the fine print -- the ban only applies to the Supercup, the curtain-raiser between the reigning Primera Division champion and the Copa del Rey holder that is staged before the La Liga season kicks off. Theoretically, then, Mourinho's Real Madrid might not even qualify for the two-legged affair next summer.
So I stand corrected. The decision wasn't a bit of a joke. It was an absolute farce.
Here was a chance for the Spanish football federation to take a stand against one of the game's supersized personalities, a man who has helped tinge the rivalry between Real Madrid and Barcelona with petulance, malice and poor sportsmanship. He has systematically tried throughout his career to play mind games and undermine referees -- hardly unusual among many gaffers in the game, it must be said. But he's also taken his bag of tricks to new lows at the Bernabeu, where he encourages his players to drink from the same poisoned chalice. At times, his behavior is reminiscent of anti-Communist crusaders of the 1950s who saw conspiracies and evil-doing around every corner.
Instead, the powers that be exposed themselves for what they really are -- powerless suits afraid to restore some semblance of what should be considered proper behavior. Sure, Madrid and Barcelona also got fined as clubs, but wasn't this the time to make an example out of Mourinho in an attempt to bring some civility back to the Clasico? Apparently not. Whether it's TV revenue sharing or acting inappropriately, the two mega clubs do as they want.
There was plenty of blame to be handed out on both sides that infamous day in August, but anyone who thinks potentially missing what are, in effect, two exhibition matches is commensurate punishment with what Mourinho did has their priorities out of whack. (And by the way, this isn't about being a Barca supporter or a Real supporter; it's about doing what is right, and the same standards would apply if Pep Guardiola was in the crosshairs.)
Ever since the arrogant upstart announced himself to a worldwide audience after making a manic dash down the Old Trafford touchline when his Porto knocked Manchester United out of the Champions League in 2003, Mourinho has been stirring it up, mostly for the good. I, for one, was a big fan. The Special One wasn't afraid to upset the established order, to thumb his nose at managers used to getting their way. Whether it was calling Arsene Wenger a "voyeur" ("There are some guys who … have a big telescope to see what happens in other people's families," he famously said) or supposedly concealing himself in a laundry basket to get access to his squad during a 2005 Champions League match against Bayern Munich, for which he was serving a UEFA-imposed ban, Mourinho has kept us in rapt attention.
Heck, he even spawned one of the funniest parodies ever, the sadly defunct Special 1 TV. (Those immortal words, "Shut up, Cabbage," to Fabio Capello will forever ring in my mind.)
But the controversies, such as they were, never had the overtones of street-ally violence. There was always a wink to his eye, something to suggest a bit of irony even in the most stressful situations. Not anymore. Let's not forget that not only did Mourinho get into Vilanova's face in the Supercup, he also appeared to roll his foot on top of Cesc Fabregas' head after the Barcelona midfielder was taken out by a reckless challenge from Marcelo. Other players, including David Villa, then got into the act and were shown red cards.
In fairness, Mourinho has brought a new vigor to La Liga, and for that he should be commended. At a time when the league is too often criticized for being a two-team race, he has made the fight at the top more exciting than it's been in years. He has strengthened Real Madrid's squad in the face of Barcelona's dominance. The Catalans themselves can be petulant and petty, liable to dive to ground at the slightest of contact. Mourinho has challenged them.
That said, he also crossed the line in the Supercup. "Mourinho is well on his way to helping Real back to their glory days," Phil Schoen of Gol TV told me via email when I asked him what he thought about the whole thing. "But his actions tarnished the reputation of the legendary club. And now, it appears the federation has pretty much given him close to carte blanche."
A two-match, non-league ban? And the Spanish federation notes that Mourinho could appeal. Why would he? And why, in an age when Arsene Wenger gets a two-match touchline ban for passing notes to his assistant coach in the Champions League, when Sir Alex Ferguson gets a cumulative five-match ban for suggesting that Martin Atkinson wasn't a fair referee, does the Spanish Federation in its infinite wisdom believe that its punishment fits the crime?
It's hard to imagine it will do much, if anything, to curtail Mourinho's increasingly erratic behavior the next time he finds himself in that crucible of all competitions, the Clasico.
Until then, you can all play Eye-Mou on your iPhone, a new app that allows you to exact revenge on the manager for the low cost of .99 cents. Or about the equivalent of what that 600 euros represents to the Special One's coffers.