Before you read too much into Miguel Batista getting the save for Seattle on Wednesday night, know that Mark Lowe had pitched for two straight days. He's still the best short-term bet. However, if Putz's injury lingers, it's also important to note that Batista has closed before and done it reasonably well, too. Feel free to mark this down as example No. 4,000,000,005 why we say to "never pay for saves!" Saves always come into the league. Mark Lowe is (or was) available in every potential league, even deep AL-only leagues.
I want no part of Nelson Figueroa or Jorge Sosa or whoever replaces Pedro Martinez in the rotation until Orlando Hernandez comes back.
Welcome to the first TRUM of the baseball season. This is my blog. Emphasis on the words "my" and "blog." This will be weekly, posted midweek (usually Wednesdays), and will always have a mailbag component. Everything else? Hit or miss.
Lots of reactions to my last TRUM (about traveling) and my You Heard Me piece, so let's dive in.
Ray Savage (Warminster, Pa.) I had my drink on the left, my cheat sheet on the right and both feet into "You Heard Me" ... until Anne Hathaway. What?! Over Megan Fox? Can I trust the fantasy instincts of a man with no gauge of the opposite sex? Please tell me the players I've highlighted because of your article will not need to be erased from my charts. Oh, and for the record - Brett Myers, 2008 Cy Young winner. You heard me.
TMR: Stand in line on that Hathaway bit (as you'll see). I like Myers, but there are too many other great pitchers in the NL. He'll be a lower-tier No. 1 fantasy starter.
Zane (Flower Mound, Texas) I was skimming through your statements and was impressed by how bold they were. You had me goin' right up until you said Anne Hathaway is hotter than Megan Fox! Are you crazy, blind or prude? Cause either you are off your rocker, need to update the old spectacles or you don't see what a smokin' hot Hottie McHotterson Megan Fox is.
TMR: I have decided to start a rock band just so I can call it "Smokin' Hot Hottie McHotterson."
TMR: So far, this one's looking pretty good. Just sayin'.
Jack Murphy (unknown) Saw this in your "You Heard Me" column: "I will date at least one sane woman in 2008." I'll take the under.
TMR: Sigh. Yeah, Vegas might have to move the line; all the money's going to the under.
Brian (Warwick, R.I.) Anne Hathaway over Megan Fox? Are you kidding me? Megan Fox is a total babe and redefines sexy ... it's not even close. That's even worse than your Bobby Crosby home run prediction. He hasn't sniffed 25 homers since '04. I'm sorry, but I'm not chugging the Berry Kool Aid on either of these.
TMR: For the record, my favorite Kool-Aid flavor is grape ... mostly because it's a funny word. Say it aloud three times: Grape, grape, grape. See?
Josh (Royal Oak, Mich.) Just listened to your Fantasy Focus podcast from Opening Day. I totally agree with you on Megan Fox versus Anne Hathaway. Fox has those terrible-looking tattoos. I also agree that her boyfriend totally ruins her image. Hathaway is definitely better. She is very good looking, nice, um, assets, and doesn't seem as wacko. Anyway, I enjoy your podcasts, TRUM articles and ESPN Mag articles. Ignore the haters!
TMR: You mean like Kevin here? (unedited)
Kevin (unknown) You are the worst broadcaster i have ever heard and i hope you get fired as soon as possible. You can't read and obviously you were taught how to speak form a kindergardener. You suck and i hope that soon ESPN will stops being nice and throws you out. You are by far the worst announcer on TV!
TMR: If I can't read, then why'd you send a written note? I believe your form of passing along criticism to me is flawed.
Matt (Tallahassee, Fla.) Last roster spot: Hank Blalock or Rickie Weeks?
Thomas (Toronto) I have Kazuo Matsui and Rickie Weeks at second base. What are your thoughts on both players, and who should I play the majority of the season?
TMR: I like Weeks in both instances simply because I like guys who produce across all categories. Weeks has the power over Matsui and the speed over Blalock. The only downside is batting average, but if you can withstand the hit on that from Weeks, he's the guy to go with. A lot of folks like Blalock as a sleeper this year thanks to his strong finish last year and I am sort of buying it, but I'd still rather have Weeks.
Jim (unknown) Ranking Mark Prior that high in your rankings is absurd. I can't believe ESPN is giving you cameo appearances in their commercials.
TMR: Neither can my parents.
TMR: (hopeful) So you found my column funny?
Slappy (Joliet, Ill.) TMR, It's an honor to write you. I just saw your ESPN Fantasy Special, anchored by the always-smirking Karl Ravech. The show's content was helpful, but I couldn't overcome one thing: Why do you have a soul patch about eight inches higher than anyone else?
TMR: Well played, sir. Well played.
Brad (New York) Congrats! You just became the envy of most people associated with the World Wide Leader with these three words [in your "Been everywhere" column]: Madden, Embassy, Suites.
Baumaums49 (on ESPN Conversation [beta!]) Berry is the worst, plain and simple. It seems painfully obvious from a cursory glance at these comments that most people cannot stand this idiot and love instead what [Eric] Karabell brings to the table. I think it's hilarious that we drove this guy away from writing his stupid TRUM columns with our comments and emails, yet he comes back more self-satisfied than ever. Berry, we don't care that you rope poor Bill Simmons into talking to you on occasion or that you tag along with actual ESPN "someones" to cool events. Please go away to Hollywood, where everyone is more like you and you'll actually find some readers who don't despise what you have to say. Karabell for king!!
TMR: At least Brad liked the story.
Dave (Defiance, Ohio) Very irresponsible journalism from you to report that Chad Billingsley is hurt. I coached Little League against Chad, and a mutual friend talked to him last night (after I read your chat comments) and asked him about being injured. He said he had no injury problems and was getting hit because he was trying to learn two new pitches. A good journalist would have researched that.
TMR: I never reported that. I said in a chat that I thought (my opinion) that Chad was hurt. I am not a good journalist because I am not a journalist. I'm an analyst. I'm not objective in the slightest bit. I give opinions. Like saying Anne Hathaway is hotter than Megan Fox.
Dylan (Portland) I got your back on the Anne Hathaway over Megan Fox comment, but as for you dating a sane chick ... try to be realistic here. Crazy chicks are your specialty.
TMR: I know. It's why I am staying away from Megan Fox. You gotta think she's got a bit of nutty in her, no?
Brad (CT) Maybe 65 out of those 66 things come true, but facts are facts and Megan Fox is hotter than Anne Hathaway. Something about Hathaway's face just turns me off more than Fox's strange tattoos.
TMR: Not everyone has a perfect face like you, Brad.
Chris (Indianapolis) You are totally right about Anne Hathaway. Megan Fox has nothing on her. Nothing, I say! Also, bonus points for having the same name as Shakespeare's wife.
Jeff (NJ) Anne Hathaway is sooooooooooo not hotter than Meagan Fox, and that's with the demerits for dating Brian Austin Green. Take a vacation.
Scott (Enfield, Ct.) Well, you've definitely got one right - Anne Hathaway is hotter than Megan Fox, hands down. But good luck on Ankiel hitting 40 homers ...
Maura (New York) Mr. Barry, I was referred to you by Brendan Roberts. My name is Maura and I'm a college freshman journalism major. I'm writing an article about the place of fantasy sports in the world of sports journalism. Because of your membership in the Fantasy Sports Writers Association and your position at ESPN, I feel you would be a great source to interview. It would be great to add your insight to my article and produce some new information about the world of fantasy sports journalism. An interview would last only 20-30 minutes, and I would work around your schedule to accommodate you. Thank you for your consideration.
TMR: First piece of advice for aspiring journalists: Spell the subject's name right.
Sean (Washington, DC) I have some rankings that I would like to e-mail to you so that you can save them and check and see how close I was at the end of the year. But this feature says it's too many words for me to send, so do you have another e-mail or some place I can send it to you?
TMR: Guess what I am not going to do here?
Jimmy (Toledo, Ohio) I have Joba Chamberlain as one of my relievers. We play two relievers. We score for wins, losses, innings pitched, saves, Ks, ERA and BBs. I have Joakim Soria as my other reliever. Would it make sense to drop Soria for a good long reliever who can get me more innings, and just concede the saves each week?
TMR: Yes, actually it would. You'll never win saves in a head-to-head league with just Soria as your closer anyway. I'd try to trade him before dumping him, but your instincts are correct. Always try to build on strength rather than weaknesses.
Dave Evans (San Luis Obispo, Calif.) I would bet my child that half of the people who read your mailbag do so because Bill Simmons did not write an article that day and they happened to be on the internet. Another 35 percent or so read it just to see the hate responses you get so they can smile and know that they are not the only ones who are perplexed that you have a job, let alone one that millions of people would kill for. Another 10 percent probably read a couple lines and then realize you wrote it. After they realize this, they probably beat themselves over the head with their computer monitors so as to knock out all that useless, unresearched malarkey from their heads and also their computer's memory. The other 5 percent probably actually like you. About 5 percent of Americans are intellectually useless ... coincidence? I think not. Maybe we got off on the wrong foot because the first podcast I heard from you predicted a better season from Al Reyes than J.J. Putz (around midseason last year). Ha ha! I promptly wrote you an e-mail, saying that was the dumbest thing I've ever heard. I just wish more people actually took your advice; I could win a fantasy league with my eyes closed if there were nine other [morons] like you in it. You drive me nuts. I hope Karabell or Simmons has written something today or else you just might get another one of these beauties.
TMR: I bet 100 percent of the people reading me can't believe you're putting your kid up as your side of the bet.
TMR: Don't worry. Only 5 percent of your league reads my column for sleepers.
JC Aevaliotis (Chicago) I'm a frequent reader, and I really like what you have to say and how you say it. It's nice to read someone who assumes that I'm not an idiot, that I'm doing my homework, and that I don't need to be told about what happens to water when I freeze it or that Johan Santana is a good pitcher. You also make me laugh, and I respect a guy who'll post hate mail if it's funny enough. So thanks for all that. I have a question about Jarrod Saltalamacchia. Thanks, and keep up the good work. I'd appreciate any help, or a line or two about Salty in a future TRUM. Speculation from the TMR gets way more use and has way more value than the TMR's hairbrushes.
TMR: I think people underestimate how solid Gerald Laird is. Unless there's an injury, I don't think "Salty" gets more than 200 at-bats.
Bartolo (Cleveland) Matt, [your "You Heard Me"] was one of your best columns ever, and I've been here since before TMR went pay. You really went out on a limb, and most importantly, not just for the sake of going out on a limb. That's so important. Instead, you put numbers and names - not just a "five wild predictions" kind of thing - and each one did a great job of straddling the line between "just being wild for a reaction" and "toning it down so that he could claim a higher success percentage at the end of the year." Great job. The final line put the perfect finishing touch. Some people might love it, some people might disagree with parts or the whole thing, but I was really impressed. If you hit just 50 percent of these, this would have been invaluable because of how far you went on this one. Oh, one more thing: For the love of Santana, don't print my real name or city in one of your e-mails, because if you do, my league mates will get an advantage when they realize that I desperately want Ryan Garko, who right now I am trying to pass off as a guy who is due for 12-15 homers and a .275 batting average. Thanks. Signed, "Bartolo"
TMR: Hey, welcome to the "five percent"!
Kate (NY) Hi, Matt. You said you wanted to date a sane woman in 2008. Well, I am sane, and I love a man who knows baseball. What do you say?
TMR: Raise your hand if you think this is actually a guy?
Jan Jannsen (Wis.) Tell me if you like this idea for the next fantasy sport: ESPN fantasy baseball analyst. A league is about five teams of three analysts each. The players drafted are TMR, Eric Karabell, Tristan Cockcroft ... the whole gang. Whoever has the best picks on their rankings and love/hate columns earns points.
TMR: Either the best or the worst idea ever.
Kris (Louisville, Ky.) About the "You Heard Me" column, I agree on virtually every single point. Three misses, though: Rick Ankiel hitting 40 homers, Torii Hunter hitting 30/30, and you dating a sane chick.
Frank (New York) Anne Hathaway is not hotter than Megan Fox! However, Corey Hart and Nick Markakis are hotter than both.
TMR: Hmm. We seem to have veered off point here.
Steve (Toronto) This was a useless column. You basically went against every possible bit of conventional wisdom. Boring!
TMR: As "The Sports Guy" would say, yes, these are my readers.
Matthew Berry -- The Talented Mr. Roto -- is ESPN's senior director of fantasy. He was just as surprised as you to find out it's a real job. He is a multiple award winner from the Fantasy Sports Writers Association, including a Writer of the Year award. He has been playing fantasy sports for more than 20 years, writing about it professionally for more than 10. He currently appears on or in ESPN, ESPN2, ESPNEWS, ESPN the Magazine, ESPN.com, ESPN Mobile TV and, as soon as he learns to say "ground-ball/fly-ball ratio" in Spanish, ESPN Deportes.
